Saturday, June 14, 2008

this week proves why i dont want to homeschool

back when i was pregnant with buddyone and was thinking about how superawesomecrunchy i was going to be, homeschooling was high on the list. this has been seriously reassessed.

ive fallen into a "im going to read all the kid psych books and be a k-rad el33t parent" kick and i found a few that really helped. it's nice when you read a book and think "holy shit they are talking about my kid(s)." that book would be raising your spirited child.

so lets do a break down.

frodo puts the extra in extrovert. he's intense, though not easily frustrated. extremely persistant (i think this insulates him from frustration to a degree. if at first you dont succeed, try try again.) - just today we were at thrift town and he wanted a bubble blowing machine - we werent getting it and he just kept saying "but it only needs batteries (the boy is OBSESSED with batteries), mom." a lady told me she was getting a good laugh out of his insistence. we need to start saving for law school, me thinks. hes not very sensitive - just the usual toddler quirks - salsa is too spicy but he loves frank's red hot sauce but pretty perceptive - he once got "woken up" from a nap because he noticed a string hanging off a ratty towel that was hanging on our bed. he's fairly regular - wakes up and sleeps almost the same time every day.

and for the bonuses - energy. haha! he broke the mold when it comes to energy. jumps right in to most activities - i still get the "i dont like..." when it comes to dinner and then two seconds later he's licking the plate clean. and he's a positive kid. easy to smile (which is great cause i can show off his dimples like i had something to do with them.)

sam - take everything i said and flip it. look up introvert in the dictionary and there he is. ok well dont flip everything. sam is also extremely intense. when he cries he WAILS. at nine months old, he was having full-blown-throw-down-on-the-floor-heaving-shoulders cry-fests if the fridge closed without him being allowed to play in it first. easily frustrated. very tender-hearted. where frodo might cry (though very infrequently) if he fell because he hurt himself or surprised by the fall, sam will cry simply because he fell. and he's persistent - again with the fridge incident. unlike frodo, sam will go into a room and play with a toy. it's refreshing to watch him play with something the way it was "meant to" instead of just carrying a toy car around.

here's where they are different. sam is sensitive. it actually bothered me i couldnt just nurse him where ever and whenever. we did need to find a quiet place to nurse. he is a picky eater - presentation is very important. and i would assume he feeds off others' emotions - ill find out a bit more once he's gets more language skills. perceptive - he stays "on task" a lot more than frodo. so less "perception."

adaptive - not so much. this might fall in the "sensitivity" column but activities like changing diapers, getting dressed, getting in the car are all very very very hard for him. these activities are hard on frodo, but it seems more like he hates getting dressed (and before diapers) because he has to stop what he's doing or stand still for a certain amount of time and follow directions - but he's laughing and smiling. sam, you would think you were physically harming him the way he screams and screams. though he does like putting his shoes on.

regularity - nope. frodo was an attached to the boob baby. sam was more lackadaisical about nursing as a baby. i never know what he is going to nap and then getting to sleep is a struggle. eats when he's hungry, but i never know when that will be.

energy - no where near as much as frodo. sam is currently sick and mopey. frodo, on the other hand, never loses energy when he's sick. actually, the one time i knew he was really really sick was when he actually sat in one place all day - a trip to the ER confirmed pneumonia - the next day, though, he was bouncing around again.

first reaction - very very very slow to warm up. waves good-bye only after they are in their car. back to food presentation - often time he wont take the first spoonful if i try to feed him. he's got to do it himself.

mood - he smiles and laughs enough, but is mellower and more melancholy. emo is a good word.

so here we go. ive got two very high-maintenance, spirited kids. for different reasons. frodo needs people. he needs to run around. staying home, not a good option. sam, needs me and thats about it. half the time, if we go out, sam wants to leave, frodo doesnt. or frodo is getting a bit overstimulated and boisterous and we need to go, but sam is good and wants to stay. sam needs a nap and a hug. frodo wants me to build some big ass thousand plus lego thing. again, this is why church with them sucks. im tugged in 8o gazillion emotional/physical directions everyday right now without trying to give them book learnin'. of course, i knew all this stuff before reading this book. but now it's all laid out so nicely and i can write a tl;dr blog post about it.

this is another reason why "two and im through!"


Patt said...

Amazing how two totally different kids can come from the same parent and the same parenting style. Not sure if that confirms nature over nuture. Just enjoy the difference. Most kids personalities (at least their outside presentation) will change and mellow over time.

Call your dad - it's father's day

Melissa said...

I read the same book when k was 3. She and L are very similar. It's why I originally decided to hs her - I was certain the school would've wanted her on ritalin. She's mellowed nicely and now craves social interaction which is why we're starting scool in Aug.

L seems very ambitious. This will be a great asset to him as an adult.